It's been too long!

Friends,

It has certainly been a while since my last post, and I want to apologize for my absence. I hope that this post will provide some clarity and insight into why I had to step away from this platform for a while.

Have you ever been spiritually drained to the point that you ‘just can't’? I certainly have. For nearly the past year, my interest in meditation has been near zero. I’ve tried, believe me. I can’t focus or concentrate or clear my head. It's like playing the game whack-a-mole - sure you can handle one or two that you bonk on the head as you mash away with ambitious glee that you’ll get those prize tickets. But after a while, there are just far too many to contend with, and your score won’t change but by a marginal amount if you quit or hit one or two. That’s how I’ve felt spiritually. It's not easy, but it isn’t impossible. I elected to take the weak route and chose the out by simply not doing anything about it.

I should never have abandoned this project. Given that hindsight is always 20/20, I’m betting that had I stayed here and kept mashing away and improving all the different pages on this site, I’d probably be experiencing better spiritual wellness and overall more resilience. However, life-changing events interjected into my life at the most inconvenient times, and it was challenging to find the motivation to continue.

One of the main catalysts for my absence was the divorce through which I went. I created this site shortly after telling my now ex-wife that I wanted a divorce. The pain of splitting and having to deal with my ex-wife’s denial of any wrongdoing in any shape or form was not only taxing, but my dwelling on it and incessant focus on the problem didn’t make things better for me spiritually. I spent a majority of my energy on focusing on a problem on which I had little to no control.

Selling my house was also a part of the deal for the divorce. It was either give her 75% of the equity, or she goes after my retirement - a retirement that is coming way too soon. On top of that, work has been quite challenging lately, which hasn't helped matters.  Its been a rough, emotional roller coaster: A whirlwind of emotional pain, financial turmoil and general strife. 

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Going forward, I may or may not get rid of my TikTok account.   I haven’t been on there in quite some time. Is it really worth it?  You tell me.   

 I am also excited to announce my collaboration with friends Meg (Her link HERE) and Angela (Hers HERE). We plan to create more content and hope to inspire and support each other in our spiritual journeys. Additionally, I will be posting more book reviews and exploring more of the philosophy of dark Buddhism.

Overall, I want to apologize for my absence.  I hope that my explanation provides some understanding of my situation. To my followers, I am incredibly grateful for your support and understanding, and I appreciate your patience during my hiatus. Your support and encouragement mean the world to me.  I'll be back on the socials soon but for now I'm working on getting back on my feet - and I'm almost there. 

In conclusion, I hope to return to my spiritual practice and continue to share my experiences and insights with you all. I look forward to reconnecting with you soon.